Jailbird Lover Gifts

'You've escaped once too often haven't you?'

"White Collar Prison"

Prison Romance.

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

Love in prison.

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"I believe thr guv'nor used to own a boarding house in Blackpool."

"It's no good you hiding, Whacker. Your release date's today and that's final!"

Con Artist.

'There. Now you have the job security you've always wanted.'

'So what's your recommendation? I suggest a tunnel.'

'Personally, I'd prefer to call my locksmith instead of my lawyer.'