Artistic Advisor Gifts

"Well, here's your trouble, right here. You're not getting enough greens in."

Ethics exam cheater.

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

That shows business confidence.

Continuing education.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

"At least he's honest about it..."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

'It basically boils down to you need to do stuff better.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"