Art Advisor Gifts

No, when I said "Who has Van Gogh's ear?" I was asking whose advice he follows.

"I bought this one behind my art consultant's back."

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Ethics exam cheater.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

That shows business confidence.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Continuing education.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"Just go with the workflow."

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'Do I have to be creative?'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"Feel better, dear?"

"He's an abstract artist."

Dolores is so avant garde.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."