Art Advisor Gifts

"I bought this one behind my art consultant's back."

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Ethics exam cheater.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

That shows business confidence.

Continuing education.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'Do I have to be creative?'

"He's an abstract artist."

"Feel better, dear?"

Dolores is so avant garde.

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"That must be the artist over there."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"