Artistic Confidant Gifts

"Do you want my opinion as an art critic or as your best friend?"

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Time for tea and friendship.

A baby playing on a grand piano

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"It's Chicken Mole!"

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

Who are you?

No caption. (The Mona Lisa is depicted wearing a smiley face button.)

A Friend in Need.

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

Warhol Exhibit

Peter Gabriel

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

'A...B...C...D...E...' - Graffiti on classroom wall.

'My right brain isn't working.'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

Pavement Art.

At First Van Gogh attempts to impress by cutting off his ear flap.

Junk Art

'Sit!'

King George IV

"Whinge, whinge whinge! Would it kill you to crack a smile? It's no wonder they call you Mona!"

"What's the tab on this bouillabaisse?"

"Mother! Have you seem my reds? My yellows? My, for god's sake, my blues??"

Francis Bacon

An artist paints a tree using a nude model.

Rudy, please stop live blogging everything you do. On verge of argument. I'd hate the world to know our most intimate secrets. Sharing is what it's all about. For instance, I'd hate them to know that if you don't stop live blogging you'll never get any nookie. Now where were we? Capitulating.