Comedian Confidant Gifts

The Trouble With Kings

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

A baby playing on a grand piano

Time for tea and friendship.

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

'I'm sick and tired of begging!'

'We're not playing hide and seek. I'm just trying to find Marm to take him to the vet.'

'I thought you said inflatables were allowed on the beach.'

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

"Do you want my opinion as an art critic or as your best friend?"

"Come on Father, confess. You haven't been keeping to your diet, have you?"

"That's very deep house."

'Sorry I'm late: It's hard to keep track of time when you work in complete darkness...'

"I need to lay off those seven birthday cakes a year."

'It's no good telling me to eat my grees, Mum. You know I'm colour blind.'

"Baldo, you deserve this raise. But please don't tell anybody what I'm paying you."

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

'What fresh hell is this? I just spent 50 grand on hair plugs.'

"Pity Party alumni."

"We're all out of trolleys so you're going to hell in a handbasket."

"Relax, release and let go...."

"Would you like to talk to everyone about it?"