Artificial Value Admirer Gifts

A book called 'Money isn't everything' is on sale for $399.95

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Claus 2.0

Reading my Critics

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Bird Torture.

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'I think he's lonely.'

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Robot Painter

Mensa Does Improv

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

Distributor in love with a multitasking robot.

Employee of the Month

'The workday comes to an end at the Audubon Society.'