Artificial Glow Enthusiast Gifts

'This tanning booth's playing up again, Brian.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

Diamond outfits

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Escher exhibition first floor

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Elton John

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'There's an imposter among us!'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

The Depressing Economic Crisis

A tessellation of running figures.

Shirley MacLaine caricature

"You put it on backward, dear."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

Haunted museum

Ghosts from around the world.

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.