Artifact Seeker T-Shirts

"You must stop digging up the past."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

Dept. of the Treasury

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

Pirate dogs burying bones.

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

Thoughtful gifts for that special pirate in your life.

"Wow, I was expecting to also get a pearl, but I'll take a panini."

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Diver finds Davy Jones' locker.

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Man digs a hole looking for treasure and ends up falling out the side of a cliff sees a sign: You Are Here.

At the end of the rainbow

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

Haunted museum

"The captain says we have to stay up here until we stop acting so childish."

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

Pirate Dives For Underwater Treasure

"I'm trying to focus on the treasures in my life that aren't buried."