Artifact Admirers Gifts

'Books-medals-statues, complete skeleton of St. Pretorius'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Hadrian's Wall

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Shell Fire

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Souvenirs.

Posh Easter Egg

Redecorating Easter Island.

"What makes you question our motives for coming here?"

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

Teddy Roosevelt

This will really mess with their minds someday.

"I get it!"

Dog finds a nice bone at the museum.

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Acme Slide Rules: 'We'll be here and ready, when the current electronic gadgetry fad fades!'

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

Starbucks Siren

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

Museum.

Haunted museum

Antiques

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."