Artful Therapist Gifts

Telepsychiatry

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Licensed Therapist

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

Couples' therapy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'We have three minutes left.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

'Do I have to be creative?'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You need to stop bottling it up."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Feel better, dear?"

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"Has it ever occurred to you just to say, 'Hey, I quit. I don't want to be a part of the food chain anymore'?"