Artistic Therapist Gifts

"In between patient visits, the doctor paints to relax."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'We have three minutes left.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Could you keep still?"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'Do I have to be creative?'

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Feel better, dear?"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"You need to stop bottling it up."