Art School Dropout T-Shirts

'Frankly I'm surprised at such a basic error - his smock's too tight.'

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

The Artist

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Just call me Picasso!

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

Vincent Van Og.

German School

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

'Picasso'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Cubism Model

"The self-portraits of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo were influenced by the great artists of her time."

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."