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"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

The Artist

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Just call me Picasso!

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

German School

Vincent Van Og.

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Cubism Model