Art School Dreamer T-Shirts

"I was rather hoping a Passaic River School might form, but so far it's just me."

The Art Student.

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Just call me Picasso!

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

Vincent Van Og.

German School

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

The world's most unemployable family

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

Art Plagiarism

Good luck in your A Levels.