Art Market Analyst T-Shirts

On some of the paintings my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments.

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Travel looks strong!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Pulling The Economy Uphill

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

The two faces of capitalism.

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

Chinese Stock Market Crash

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."