Art Market Observer T-Shirts

'Somebody offered him £25.000.00 for the rag he cleans his brushes with.'

"You'll learn in this business that there's no bad art...just bad checks."

bird interprets modern art

Horse statue throws off rider.

"Tinnitus?"

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Oh, O.K. I can sort of see it."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

The discovery of a 51st shade of grey was met with mixed reviews.

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

Paintings you might be able to afford.

'It sold for how much!'

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'At first glance, my work may seem heavily ironic, but, culturally adjusted, it's really pretty sincere!'

'For the last time, this is NOT a public art event.'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Russian bombers in California

"look at those poor suckers. A market correction doesn't mean anything to us."

"What's the matter? Not puffy enough for you?"

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

On some of the paintings my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments.

The place is full of dealers.

The artist

"This one's called. Make Me An Offer."

Damien Hirst

"My dream is for this work to be crated and stored, somewhere in Singapore... forever."

"In today's market, this little gem with a view won't last long."

'Tell Marketing the feedback on new logo and brand name is all positive.'

'Oooh, these philistines! They placed my work of art upside down!'

'You see productivity levels. I see a naked lady.'