Art Analyst T-Shirts

Two cavemen discussing a painting

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

You're my Mona Lisa.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Morning, all!"

The Life of Pi

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Time Is Money

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'