Art Lovers Gifts

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

Rugby heaven

"I love his work, it's off the wall!"

'Inhale...exhale...inhale...exhale...'

Con artists.

Mr. Finshley does not want to be disturbed for the duration of the board meeting.

'Who's the new guy?'

Changing The Dollar Bill

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

'He lives under the illusion that Charles Saatchi is going to barge in here someday and buy everything.'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"So, you're an existencilist?"

A trompe l'oeil husband

Vincent Van Gogh's family reunion Family members with ears missing or bandaged up

'Turns out, M.C.Escher was the brains behind the animal smuggling scam.'

'Look at me while I'm talking to you!'

Walk like an Egyptian...

Prisoner

"Is this necessary? I already confessed."

"Forget about the non-pedigree bit! He turned up on a first date with a sketchbook and drew a portrait of you?! Bestie, he's a keeper alright!"

"Hey wait a second! Aren't we standing too close together?"

Complaint Department Venus De Milo

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"You're not even wearing underpants!"

"Ey, Salvador, why you no make sandcastles like other kids?"

"First it was a real one. Then artificial. Now it's completely conceptual."

Smoking away money.

"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

A flirt is as strong as her weakest wink.

Cavemen enlightening

Sky-Vue

Cherub arrested.

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."