Art Guide T-Shirts

It says he studied at the feet of the masters. Art Guide.

'I've never seen such a big sausage!'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Baroque Peacock

Flyfishing for dummies.

Rodin's Browser

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Convenience.

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"All the celebrities come here."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"I don't dare take him near the De Kooning exhibit!"

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Cover story: Picasso

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Michelangelo eh...well you're going to have to come up with some ID!

"It was you, Jason. Dr. Karnes had it authenticated."

"Y a un truc bizarre."

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"But is it content?"

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

The Big Picture

"It must be pouring outside."