Art Gallery Tours T-Shirts

'I don't remember seeing that in the brochure.'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Rodin's Browser

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

The Cremaster Cycle

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Art of Surviving

Private Viewing

"That must be the artist over there."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

"Outré or simply bad?"

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

Francoise Gilot

'You're no Pollock.'

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

"It's a great work!"