Visiting An Art Gallery T-Shirts

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

Rodin's Browser

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

I painted them all from memory.

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Art of Surviving

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"That must be the artist over there."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

"Outré or simply bad?"

Private Viewing

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

Francoise Gilot

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'You're no Pollock.'

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

"It's a great work!"