Gallery Touring T-Shirts

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

Larry's used art

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Well....I could've done this!"

'Projectile painting.'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Cats at private view

Rodin's Browser

Children's Art Show.

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

The Rise of Modern Art

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.

Art Gallery.

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

I love Museum Shops

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

I painted them all from memory.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'