Art Fund Manager Gifts

"All I'm saying is, giving a little something to the arts might help our image."

The day the stock market went UP.

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

'Forget what?'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Time to buy.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

Economy.

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'