Art District Explorer Gifts

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Rodin's Browser

Kid doing cave paintings

Convenience.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

The Cremaster Cycle

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

Maria Sibylla Merian

Mammoth Posing

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Cover story: Picasso

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

"I can write, but I can't draw."

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

Art for Sale

'Of course this makes your old masters al look now so very contrived.'

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

Antiques

"But is it content?"

The Big Picture

'...And here's one of the artist's earliest paintings.'

Millais - Cubist Period

"It's okay, fellahs - only another bloody statue of Gormley by Gromley!"