Art Detective Gifts

Art Plagiarism

"Well, this initial test suggests that the authenticity of your Rembrandt may be questionable."

"Wait a minute…that's not me!"

We discovered the original background during an x-ray. Ice cream.

They spent ages trying to decide if the painting had, or had not, been vandalised.

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'Are you sure it's the original?'

'Cops and Rubbers.'

"Bad news. It's a fake."

"Looks like something was going on in the Stone Age that they didn't want the Bronze Age to know about."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

Private Viewing

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'I hope there isn't art as we know it on other planets.'

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

Files of Doom

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."