Art Detective Prints

Art Plagiarism

"Well, this initial test suggests that the authenticity of your Rembrandt may be questionable."

"Wait a minute…that's not me!"

They spent ages trying to decide if the painting had, or had not, been vandalised.

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'Are you sure it's the original?'

'Cops and Rubbers.'

"Bad news. It's a fake."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Private Viewing

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'I hope there isn't art as we know it on other planets.'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

Files of Doom

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

"Walking dead letter file."

The Police Artist.

'Believe it or not, but he used to be a gag cartoonist!'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."