Art Abider Gifts

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Culture Saturday

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Pastorius wonders why.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

It's a call from Tate modern.

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Jackson Pollock Studio

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

The Cremaster Cycle

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

"What did Jesus order?"

"Feel better, dear?"

Art Gallery.

Kultural K9's.

Phoenix

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

Mimi's final scene

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

I painted them all from memory.

Surreal ale

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

Joe Biden