Arsenal Aficionado Gifts

Footballers - Thierry Henry

'It was my grandmothers dying wish that I wear this to her funeral,her being a lifelong Arsenal supporter..'

Arsene Wenger dusting off incoming transfers book.

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Raheem Sterling

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Mohamed Salah

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

The Lawman

Snowman Football Fan.

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

'Don't mind him, he gets that way every Opening Day when I tell him he can't have a gun.'

Soldier watering camouflage plants on troops' helmets.

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

Banting in the Yeomanry

Footballers - Sol Campbell

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

Ref is red carding the computer for acting up.

Sisyphus

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

Harry Kewell

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

World Cup reactions

'We got married on Cup Final Day so that he wouldn't forget our anniversary.'

World Cup Fever