Arsenal Aficionado T-Shirts

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

Snowman Football Fan.

The Lawman

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

Banting in the Yeomanry

'Don't mind him, he gets that way every Opening Day when I tell him he can't have a gun.'

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

Ref is red carding the computer for acting up.

Sisyphus

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

"You could do a lot worse then be good at football... I know... some people have to settle for politics."

The colonel's daughter, with a gun

'We got married on Cup Final Day so that he wouldn't forget our anniversary.'

'Here's a field can opener, you may need it to cut yourself out of your tank.'