Army Drill Survivors Gifts

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

"What next?" "Don't tell me."

A usual day.

'I see the name they've called this winter storm, is certainly more civil than what you called it.'

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

"Don't get caught."

Gymnast tangled up.

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"If you really want to stay on here, Wiles, you're going to have to give more effort."

Welcome to the middle class Jer$ey $hore!'

Ace Apartments: Absolutely NO beekeeping!

Clockwork Revolving Door

'Now if you can break it in half, it's not an ovary....'

"I was hoping to retire at 60 - but I have to wait until 65 if I want to finish this latest survey."

"The first thing we do is go and withdraw our 'rainy day' investment."

"That was just a simulation. Nothing can prepare you for the kind of monkey bars you'll find in an actual war zone."

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of bee keeping are the hardest.'

'What did I tell you about keeping bees?'

'Yes Ma'am, I do pick up unwanted hives.'

Tiptoeing around voltometers.

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

Free WiFi

"I almost fell off the treadmill."

'I know... crazy right? What are the odds of getting stung in both hands. . .'

"This is a support group for phone victims. Frank butt dialed. Bib drunk dialed, Anne there talked bad about someone, but didn't realize she hadn't hung up..."