Armorer Gifts

Suit of armor. Sport coat of armor

"Think that's uncomfortable? Try an axe in the face."

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

'Most queens just have to wear chastity belts!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

Christmas Craftwork

Knight with paint tin on his head.

'It must cost a small fortune to dry clean that suit.'

"The Armour seems okay, it must be a touch of rheumatism."

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Knight/Bird.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'You've got Chain Mail!'

'I like a man in a suit.'

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

'There's a dangerously fine line between chivalry and being a goody-two-shoes.'

"Wearing this hot metal for 20 days straight is rough."

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'

Goldfish in Armour

Eve quickly learnt that you don't take your man with you when buying him clothes.

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

"My mom still makes all my clothes by hand."

Knight with a tap in his armour.

"Honey, they just can't resist it."

"To thrive in these challenging times we need to embrace charge, to welcome it. It's the only way to survive and grow!"

Flat pack sales assistant

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'