Armchair Politico Gifts

Senator Krupt: Now Accepting Contributions On-Line!

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

They're Not Just That Into It

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The intellectual.

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"I should've never studied canon law."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

The Three Kinds of People

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

"I don't believe in egrets."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Militant Pacifists

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."