Armchair Politico Pillows

Senator Krupt: Now Accepting Contributions On-Line!

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The intellectual.

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

The Three Kinds of People

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"I don't believe in egrets."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Militant Pacifists

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."

EU

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'