Armchair Political Commentator Pillows

"Our panel of experts will return to their discussion of the issues as soon as riot police have restored order."

"Nation-building never works."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Laughingstock

Trump Poutine

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

Unemployed recession: the irony is killing me

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

A lock labeled 'freedom' covers a man's mouth.

Tearing up the Iran Deal

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Ha! So much for environmentally friendly behaviour!"

"New court filings. Totally clears the President. Thank you." "Actually, sir, it, uh, says you did crime and might go to jail."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"AI chat bot"

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'