Armchair Martial Artist Pillows

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Overjumpers

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'Remember me?'

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Putting Practice.

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'You may now kick the bride.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'I think they're up to something.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Mod Kwan Doh

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"Goal!"

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Old Karate Master

"Now there's a weapon of mass destruction."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'Well, he's always been a hero to me.'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"