Armchair Heating Strategist Pillows

Mum! I'm cold! - 'Put your jumper on then!' - 'I'm already wearing it!' - '' - 'Mum! I can't reach the thermostat!' - 'Oh, that's a shame, dear.' -

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Turkish Democracy

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

Kim-Putin Summit

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'I hibernate in a small crevice near the hot springs that stays warm all winter.'

Who's Dead

American's Funniest Invasion Strategies.

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

"I got a tweet from Putin NOT to attack Iran."

The next drone flight

Campaign 2016

Development in Russia after the Soviet Union...

'My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off.'

"I'm starting to wish we'd never bought him that thing."

Nato

"He passed out from apoplectic rage directed at Trump's voter fraud conspiracies."

'Please - no thanks...the money, time, lives...we just hope you enjoy your new found freedom.'

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

"I attribute most of my problems in the third grade to the media."

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'