Armchair Experts Pillows

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

The intellectual.

Turkish Democracy

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Technological Dependence.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"Damn, I forgot to pack a jumper."

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

"I got a tweet from Putin NOT to attack Iran."

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

Who's Dead

"No, we’re not lost, Claire. And yes, I have seen ‘Deliverance’!"

'Primitive people drew symbols on paper to communicate, or as grandmom calls it, writing.'

Development in Russia after the Soviet Union...

'I don't know how you stand listening to people's problems all of the time, Doctor Barnes.'

'You deserve one another, but I don't deserve you!'

How long have you been delusional?

"I attribute most of my problems in the third grade to the media."

"He passed out from apoplectic rage directed at Trump's voter fraud conspiracies."

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'