Ark Narrative Humorist T-Shirts

'TERMITES!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

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'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Gustav Holst

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

Chef makes a cook book.

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'Abstract painting.'

'One could make the ultimate industrial strength glue by cracking the formula of the goo on night club stages.'

La Tour 2007.

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

Artist, sitting in front of a sign identifying a bridge as a draw bridge, draws the bridge.