Aristocrats T-Shirts

"I may be your page today, but someday, I hope to be the whole book."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

Gentleman's Club Scene

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

'New money or old money?'

cayetana de alba

The Duke of Earl meets the Earl of Duke:''Hey, baby, wot's happenin'!' 'Charmed!'

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

Duchess

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

Queen

'Well it's a ransom, sire, but I wouldn't call it a King's Ransom...'

The Frozen Out Fox Hunter (Tobogganing)

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

"You think more of Football than you do of me!", "I think more of Earl Spencer than I do of you!!"

"So what are you the earl of?"

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

Downtrodden Abbey

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

Owner: 'Why didn't you ride as I told you? Didn't I tell you to force the pace early and come away at the corner?' Jockey: 'Yes m'Lord, but I couldn't very well leave the horse behind.'

The Nobility Scooter

So Sympathetic

"It's Parkins, sir; we're 'aving a bit of a time below stairs."

'Oh yes, everyone likes him, he's not intelligent enough to make enemies.'

"It's the price we pay for living an alternative lifestyle."

A House of Lords Reform: 'Please do not take shotguns or dead game into the chamber.'