Aristocratic Aficionado T-Shirts

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

Sir Winston Churchill

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

That's What Happens

Schrodinger's Black Box

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Legalish

Steve Bannon Loves That Donald Trump Exists Outside Linear Time

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

William Pitt the Elder

New GOP Election Laws: "Look at it this way. . . we're making it easier for you to climb that tree...!"

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

Martin Luther King and Obama.

With Aristotle, it's either true or false -- He hates it when you say "whatever."

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

Auguste Comte

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'He was very big in Vienna.'

Gladstone Steps Down as Liberal Leader

"Do you have a pill that relieves anger, nausea, depression and distrust? I plan on watching the presidential campaign."