Aristocratic Aficionado T-Shirts

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

Sir Winston Churchill

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

New GOP Election Laws: "Look at it this way. . . we're making it easier for you to climb that tree...!"

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Martin Luther King and Obama.

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

William Pitt the Elder

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

Auguste Comte

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'He was very big in Vienna.'

Gladstone Steps Down as Liberal Leader

Fake news on Taiwan elections

"Do you have a pill that relieves anger, nausea, depression and distrust? I plan on watching the presidential campaign."