Aquatic Negotiator Gifts

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Away with the warmonger!"

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

"Beg for peace!"

'Here, William, take this - the G8 has chosen you to nip over for a one-to-one with Assad...'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'RIGHT! Just you wait 'till Tony Blair hears about this!'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"I say we shoot anyone who claims we broke the ceasefire!"

Middleast Peace

Peace in Gaza?

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

Iraq and the road ahead...

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

'Well, you knew the peace process was going to be dangerous.'

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

"Who do we talk to about buying your planet?"

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"Is there room for me?"

Merkel and Hollande in Moscow

Iran Talks - 'Okay...let's see...let's go over your new proposals to seriously resolve grave obstacles to world peace...'

Proxy Sponsorship of Iraq's Coming Civil War

Bipartisan.

'Damn it, he's lawyered up! By the time this works its way through the courts he'll be out of season!'

"Rats, the peace-talks are progressing well and they're pushing for a cease-fire: better make the most of it while we can..."

Myanmar Peace Talk

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"More peace bombs?"

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

Syria Crisis

"Remember: Say what you mean, but don't mean what you say."