Wildlife Negotiator Gifts

Animal Conference

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

Save the river.

The Destruction of the Environment

Yo$mite National Park and Delware North Corporate Greed

'For heaven's sake, Claudia. Give him the tuna fish sandwiches!'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

It was hard to put a price on progress. Real hard without a calculator.

'Someday son, all this will be yours to argue with the Environmental Protection Agency over.'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

Wolf Reintroduction.

Hope...

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

Gulf of Mexico - Twinned with Bhopal.

"Every year I lobby for a tax on penguins, seals and polar bears and every year NOTHING!"

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

The last bird in the last wood...

"Yes, human DNA is very close to ours, but obviously, they're missing the nucleotide necessary for caring for the environment. . ."

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

"Oh, I'll bet you just LOVED that, didn't you?"

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

The only problem with your current diet is really deforestation, and I'm afraid I'm unable to help...

'When they said adopt a leopard I didn't think they meant...!'

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

'You have to admit, avian suicide has been greatly facilitated.'

Bio-obsolescence