Aquatic Jokesters Gifts

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Guide fish.

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Shark Chum

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

Fish Farm.

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

"A catfish ate my homework."

"It's been over for a while now. I caught him trying to fertilize some catfish eggs in June."

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

A Classic Goldfish Game.

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

Acme Coffee Co.

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'I'm a Pisces.'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

"She's definitely had work done on her tail."

"Come on, what would be the point of being a pilot fish if I couldn't wear cool pilot sunglasses?"

'Sperm Donor Whale.'