Aquatic Empathizer Pillows

'I know I shouldn't bite, but I keep thinking about that poor slob up there...hot, tired, hungry...'

The Golfing Accident

'Long shift?'

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

"I thought they only used the ink for protection..."

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

'Where's your goldfish?'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

'I realize working in the Complaints Department can be tough. But it must be a thrill to work with the public on a daily basis.'

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

"I can clearly see from the colour of your rings that your have some anger issues...!"

Rare Duck Phobias.

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

I hate jacuzzi day.

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

"Wait - you're right - it is as bad as it seems."

'You don't have anything in a smaller size do you?'

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

"I heard Dad say we were having fish for dinner, so I thought I'd come in and check on you guys."

'Why is there so much chlorine in this water?'

Sorry to hear about your accident.

"I'm sorry that anti-diarrhea medication didn't work. . ."

'Mouthwash!...you spoil that piranha.'

Christmas Burnout

Innocent Civilians

"Star light star bright please let me wake up tomorrow and be a cat so I can sleep more and won't get my heart broken so much."