Aquatic Empathizer Pillows

'I know I shouldn't bite, but I keep thinking about that poor slob up there...hot, tired, hungry...'

The Golfing Accident

'Long shift?'

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

"I thought they only used the ink for protection..."

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

'Where's your goldfish?'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'I realize working in the Complaints Department can be tough. But it must be a thrill to work with the public on a daily basis.'

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

"I can clearly see from the colour of your rings that your have some anger issues...!"

Rare Duck Phobias.

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

I hate jacuzzi day.

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

'You don't have anything in a smaller size do you?'

"I heard Dad say we were having fish for dinner, so I thought I'd come in and check on you guys."

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

'Why is there so much chlorine in this water?'

Sorry to hear about your accident.

'Mouthwash!...you spoil that piranha.'

"I'm sorry that anti-diarrhea medication didn't work. . ."

"Why do you go to bed so late?"

Innocent Civilians

Christmas Burnout

"Star light star bright please let me wake up tomorrow and be a cat so I can sleep more and won't get my heart broken so much."