Aquarium Goer Gifts

"Quite frankly, I don't know why I'm here. I never hired a personal trainer."

Horror movies

Piranhaclaus

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Pets.

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"I think it loves us."

'I wish I was creative'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'So what have you been up to?'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

"This place could use a moat!"

Fish tank filled with sardines.

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

Taking goldfish for a walk.