Appreciates Witty Financial Jokes Pillows

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Jumping Wall Street.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

God bless our home equity line of credit.

In case of falling markets break glass.

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Federal Guidelines

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

I can't believe It!

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

Budget Cuts

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'