Appliance Whisperers Pillows

"Yeah, I get it, it's hot - but you don't hear me screaming every time, do you?"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Man and Machine snoozing

Computer help.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

The Complete Cycle.

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Stinking politicians and their dirty laundry!" "That's Bob. He's watching 'CSPIN', again."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

Cellular Plan

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.