Appetizers T-Shirts

I say if life gives you tapens, make tapenade.

The wonderful world of cheese.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

"The bagels are better in New York."

Sinking Sand

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

Devilled Eggs

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

"Okay, okay - next time I'll spring the trap and you grab the cheese."

"I changed my mind about eloping with you, Billy....my mother didn't fix broccoli for dinner after all!"

"We're out of empanadas!"

"We grind our own catnip."

'Hors-D'oeuvre, Madam?'

Kitchen - Sign reads 'Out of Hors D'Oeuvres.'

'Any more napkins, Hon? Annie's got cone leakage.'

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

The four major food groups.

'How would you like your steak, sir?' - 'Big.'

Food sign on the mountain.

Moses after forty years in the desserts...

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

Yes, mom, I'm sure his mom brought the post-fight juice boxes.

I guess I just assumed we'd skip Take your child to work day this year. Chips.

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"