App Designer Gifts

'What kind of defense is 'the phone apps made me do it'?'

"The average user checks their smartphone 297 times a day. This app makes sure you don't fall behind."

I can record our game. Big deal. Mine can get everyone's stats plus find sales on bats and gloves. Wow! It does everything! Teddy! Except catch the ball. Isn't there an app for that?

'Looks like another killer app.'

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

'We come to your planet in search of free apps.'

'Trick and Trace!'

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

God's Phone

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

Swiss Army Phone

Hidden Facebook Features

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say "feed me," "walk me," "I need to potty," or "leave me alone," or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout "I'm running!" when the dog is running.

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'