Apologetics Gifts

Support Our Apologists.

Priest's 'To do' list.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

Hyacinths

"OK, what have you done?"

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

Laurel, hi. I brought you flowers. You did. How sweet. You never bring me flowers. Never. Not once. And chocolates. Shaped like tiny cell phones. What bad thing have you done? Spill it!

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'

'A sincere apology costs nothing and it's a smart career move.'

Fake it with Flowers.

"I'm looking for an arrangement that says, 'Sorry about the sofa.'"

'Expensive wine, long-stem roses, imported candies...wasn't our argument about MY spending habits?'

"Why don't you just tell me what idiotic thing you did, and I'll pick out the appropriate bouquet!"